Dying Alive

Dying Alive

I feel I’m dying while I live,

Within my own heart and mind.

No trace of my true self,

Within me can I find.

 

For my prolonged unhappiness,

I always blame that and this,

The truth is probably that,

I’m uncomfortable with bliss.

 

The sinking feeling in my heart,

To me feels familiar like home,

In it with angst and tears,

I yearn to forever roam.

 

The restlessness in my limbs,

My inability to breathe,

Fighting back the tears,

Unable to write or read.

 

The simple yet all-consuming,

Exhaustion I daily feel,

Walking aimlessly about,

While out of my mind I reel.

 

Love then presents itself,

Knocking my door repeatedly,

Simultaneously I’m too broken,

To respond to it lovingly.

 

It turns back on its heel,

Disappears without a trace,

With tears dried I find myself,

Alone in life’s race.

 

I’ve given up now so leave,

Love, happiness, and people all,

I’ll roam alone with despair,

And won’t get up when I fall.

 

It’s not your fault for giving up,

You probably do not know,

The pain that I feel because,

When you ask I don’t show.

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