Tag: crying

Can I Give Up?

Can I Give Up?

I walk around with feet unsteady,

An uncertainty in my eyes,

I wonder if the world would see,

Through the façade capture my lies.

 

My heart thuds at the smallest task,

In my abilities I believe naught,

I feel I’m at the mercy of beings,

For inadequacy I’ve been brought.

 

I desperately want to give up,

I want to run somewhere and hide,

I’m scared to my sheer core,

I no longer enjoy the ride.

 

If I had it my way I’d lock myself,

And emit a wailing shrill,

My energy spent now calming down,

So accumulated tears don’t spill.

Anger & Tears

Anger & Tears

I’m torn between episodes,

Of rampant rage and tears,

Sometimes a pillow I can soak,

Sometimes my heart sears.

 

Anything in my line of sight,

I want to grab and destroy,

Be it my favorite coffee mug,

A laptop, comb, or a toy.

 

The sound of it breaking,

Brings some kind of peace,

After it playing in my ears,

I feel a great release!

 

People cannot understand,

The pleasure from destruction,

Heck, normally I wouldn’t know,

How to give myself that instruction.

 

But somehow in that instance,

It’s the only thing making sense.

As if that crash relaxes,

Every in-body muscle tense.

 

Now, moving on to tears,

It is emotionally draining.

For those who don’t know,

Might think I’m feigning.

 

It starts creeping around,

A feeling sort of tingly,

But as it intensifies,

It brings me down singly.

 

That need to be secluded,

Just to be able to cry,

More than that disturbing,

I always wonder why?

 

I just know that I have to,

In that frame of time,

I don’t need to think of,

Who’s committed, what crime?

 

It just starts trickling warmth,

Forming salty streaks in its path,

The aching becomes intense,

You’d think me struck by wrath!

 

During the episodes,

I feel broken and defeated,

Once it’s all over,

I’m just plain depleted.

 

You’d think what bigger task,

Than this could ever be?

Going out then to the world,

Having to pretend to be me.