Tag: crying

I Need You Girl 

I Need You Girl 

Wish I could communicate

To you my dear friend

How in this moment

I want my life to end

I think you always wonder

With goodness all around

How this ungrateful girl

Is in sadness bound

I’m terrified to my core

To you on this complain

I think you are tired of

Me talking about my pain

I’m trying to be brave

And hold this inside

All my broken pieces

From you I try to hide

I just want you to hold me

Tell me what I need to hear

And not be mad when I say

To go to the shrink I fear

I try to get up everyday

And fight with all I got

But everyday I collapse

It can start with a thought

Or just a feeling inside

That I cannot breathe

Or show up in an outburst

I may with anger seethe

I’ve now had a good cry

My face is leaking, red

Once I clear it all up

I’ll pretend I’m well instead

Till the next time see you

In the cracks of my heart

I’ll keep my happy face on

And this mess from you apart

Just know that I love you

Don’t take this hiding wrong

I’m scared of you hating me

Because I am not strong

Can I Give Up?

Can I Give Up?

I walk around with feet unsteady,

An uncertainty in my eyes,

I wonder if the world would see,

Through the façade capture my lies.

 

My heart thuds at the smallest task,

In my abilities I believe naught,

I feel I’m at the mercy of beings,

For inadequacy I’ve been brought.

 

I desperately want to give up,

I want to run somewhere and hide,

I’m scared to my sheer core,

I no longer enjoy the ride.

 

If I had it my way I’d lock myself,

And emit a wailing shrill,

My energy spent now calming down,

So accumulated tears don’t spill.

Anger & Tears

Anger & Tears

I’m torn between episodes,

Of rampant rage and tears,

Sometimes a pillow I can soak,

Sometimes my heart sears.

 

Anything in my line of sight,

I want to grab and destroy,

Be it my favorite coffee mug,

A laptop, comb, or a toy.

 

The sound of it breaking,

Brings some kind of peace,

After it playing in my ears,

I feel a great release!

 

People cannot understand,

The pleasure from destruction,

Heck, normally I wouldn’t know,

How to give myself that instruction.

 

But somehow in that instance,

It’s the only thing making sense.

As if that crash relaxes,

Every in-body muscle tense.

 

Now, moving on to tears,

It is emotionally draining.

For those who don’t know,

Might think I’m feigning.

 

It starts creeping around,

A feeling sort of tingly,

But as it intensifies,

It brings me down singly.

 

That need to be secluded,

Just to be able to cry,

More than that disturbing,

I always wonder why?

 

I just know that I have to,

In that frame of time,

I don’t need to think of,

Who’s committed, what crime?

 

It just starts trickling warmth,

Forming salty streaks in its path,

The aching becomes intense,

You’d think me struck by wrath!

 

During the episodes,

I feel broken and defeated,

Once it’s all over,

I’m just plain depleted.

 

You’d think what bigger task,

Than this could ever be?

Going out then to the world,

Having to pretend to be me.