Tag: goodbye

Goodbye For Now 

It’s clear at this point that I’m not OK but I feel my darkness is steering my blog in a different direction. It was something that was supposed to be beautiful and to me it seems ruined by what I’m going through. It’s always a relief to write but certain things have stuck on my head,  and I now feel it’s talulacomplain.com. I don’t know if I’m doing this to save everyone from me or punish myself. All I know right now is, before I destroy my blog and delete it all, I’m going to say goodbye. 
I feel like a hypocrite when I say, 

I won’t complain anymore to people around, 

To which torture do I subject my readers,  

To my venom I make them bound. 

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Do You Miss Me?

Do You Miss Me?

I was watching the movie ‘Stuck In Love’ over the weekend. When I reached the above scene, the look on Rusty’s face (when he realizes his family is now whole) captured my attention. It took me back to a time when I thought my family would be whole one day. In that moment I was so overwhelmed that I couldn’t watch the remaining 1 minute or so of the movie….I had to write….(and cry)!

 

I thought you would come back,

And we’d be a family whole,

And when you would return,

You’d bring back what you stole.

 

I defended you by myself,

Held firm in you, my belief,

I thought it’d be worthwhile,

In the end I’d feel relief.

 

But when I said bye in the car,

One thing I never knew,

That would be the last time,

That daddy, I would see you.

 

I sometimes think to myself,

Do you ever miss me?

The answer’s obviously no,

As here’s where you’d be.

 

When in town you meet some,

But ask about me never,

What is it about me so bad,

To our relationship sever?

 

You brought me in this world,

Me you swore to protect,

But in just fourteen years,

From your life I was eject.

 

I sit here aching for you,

Now welled up is my stare,

But what is it to you,

You’ve left and don’t even care!

 

My Notice

My Notice

Can we ever write a notice, to our friends?
That we are not going to be there.
Or is this something we do not do,
Just leave things hanging, in the air?

 

I cried as the words I wrote,
Thinking honest speech was fair,
I’m broken, cannot be predicted,
I wrote to her blatantly in despair.

 

Is sincerity and pure love enough,
For people to survive?
From the jolting of depression,
Can one suddenly thrive?

 

After crying time and again,
Emphatically through the night,
Soaking a pillow thoroughly wet,
Holding on to it tight.

 

Can one just appear to the show?
And believe they’re good again,
After being through the wringer,
They’re still writhing in pain.

 

Yet another morning it is,
But nothing is the same.
People expect me to be normal,
I come as a wild cat tame.

 

One day I walked the roads,
On my head a golden crown,
Now I squeeze past the crowd,
My gaze consistently down.

 

Exhausted, crushed and defeated,
Within me nothing anymore left.
The world seems to pass by,
Of all glitz and glory bereft.

 

I thought to myself now seriously,
What can one like me ever give?
Should I take her down with my load?
For this can anyone ever forgive?

 

My intentions were pure but,
Now I cannot look her in the eye,
I willingly gave a notice,
To my dear friend, goodbye